• Jane Leder

Thinning Hair "Down There"




Is it normal? Do we lose our "pubes" as we age? I never thought I'd ask this question let alone write about it. It feels embarrassing like one of those hush-hush subjects better left to sleazy ads in sleazy magazines.

Something like:


Are you an older woman who is losing her hair down there?


If you are, you're not alone. A reported twenty percent of women lose their public hair as they age. (Never mind that there have been few if any studies and that the twenty percent is a number some copywriter pulled out of a hat--or out of something else.)


If you are an older woman whose hair down there is thinning, you probably feel embarrassed, unsexy, abnormal.


But Forever Pubescent is a scientifically proven cream guaranteed to restore your pubes and give them the full, bushy appearance that you once enjoyed. (This, of course, assumes that all younger women spend a lot of time admiring their pubes.)


That's Forever Pubescent available wherever women's sundries are sold.


Okay, I'll get serious here. I'd never heard of thinning pubes, not in a sex education class, among female friends, in a "woman's" magazine like Cosmo. Personally, I've never been a fan of the Brazilian pubic hairstyle (i.e. nada hair), but it seems as if I'm headed in that direction without my consent. But then again I didn't sign a permission slip for a lot of the physical changes that are part and parcel of aging.

The scant data we do have suggests that the growth rate and density of pubic hair decreases with age for both women and men. This likely means that pubic hair loss occurs with age and is not a menopause-related phenomenon. Some people experience more pubic hair loss with age than others — most likely caused by a mix of genetics and underlying medical conditions.

Jen Gunter, Nov. 21, 2019, New York Times


I don't have a medical condition; at least, not one I'm aware of that might affect hair loss. But genetics? Who knows? Thinning public hair is not one of the genetic traits that I've traced, and I have scant knowledge of the women in my family who came before me.


In an article written for Byrdie, an online magazine described as "Your one-stop destination for insider beauty secrets, product reviews, and more—all vetted by our editors and the industry's top pros," Amanda Montell wrote a piece titled "What's The Standard For Pubic Hair These Days?" (updated April 24, 2020).


So, what is the standard? According to Montell, "not many people seem to want to bring back the full bush. Of course, an outright rejection of any kind of pubic hair grooming isn't right either—the point is that you're not supposed to feel pressured as to what to do with your body hair."


That's well and good, but what if you are left with little choice? Do you let Mother Nature take her course? Go natural? Do you head her off at the pass and go Brazilian? Or do you have all the hair lasered and leave a thin strip that runs down the middle? Ouch!


Or if your bush is becoming more like fading ground cover, do you consider wearing a merkin? What the hell is a merkin?


mer·kin /ˈmərkən/ noun 1. an artificial covering of hair for the pubic area.


A wig for the pubes! Who knew? It seems as actresses in R-movies have worn their share of merkins and that even some big-time actresses have worn "phony curlies."

For the full spread on merkins, check out the following article on grantland.com. It's a hoot. https://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/merkin-pubic-wig-hollywood-rooney-mara-patricia-arquette-evan-rachel-wood-kate-winslet-heidi-klum/



I don't see myself donning a merkin any time soon but never say never. Maybe if I dress up as Cleopatra for Halloween. But it would have to be an indoor celebration for us wiser women with a damn good sense of humor.



















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